Monday, July 30, 2007
EXHAUSTING
It consists of crawling up the walk calling the dogs. Then into the house for some breakfast with Grandpa. We play "can you make this sound or this face". Of course we also have to play PEEK-A BOO. And this boy eats everything. Whatever the adults are eating, he wants to eat the same things. Hot , spicy, mild. Doesn't matter. He eats it.
A walk in his stroller during which we have to stop at certain power boxes so he can hit them and hear the drum sound. Certain trees, so he can feel the texture of the pine needles, a real estate sign for it's color and picking up pine cones so we can play" No , no you keep it" and we pass the pine cone back and forth.
Once back home, we maybe have a Popsicle or ice cream, then he is into the living room where he wants to play with my computer. He is very smart. He knows that the mouse and the keyboard control what is on the screen. He has a little video with a hippo and a dog singing and dancing to the song " IN the JUNGLE". He has been fascinated by this video since December. He even sings and tries to dance along to it.
After about 20 minutes of the same song, I am ready to pass him off to his Grandma. Into the computer room we go. Yes she has her own room. There we close the door to keep the dogs out and him in . He plays with his truck and anything else he can get his hands on.He is learning the phrase "NO, NO, NO" very quickly. He is also learning to ignore it almost as quickly. He has figured out that if he moves a little stool we have he can climb higher and get into more things. He just doesn't stop moving. He loves to sit on the computer chair and get spun around to get dizzy as you can see by the picture.
By the time his mom gets here he is starting to tire out. He loves to look out the front window and call to her as she comes up the walk. He is glad to see her but not fussy like some kids get. And then he goes home. He is almost 11 months old now and a real joy in our lives
As for me. I go for my nap. I'm exhausted.
Fwd: FW: Summary of Life
>
> Summary of Life
>
>
>
> GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
>
> 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
> 2) When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your
> hair.
> 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch
> the second person.
> 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
> 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
> 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
> 7) Never hold a dust-buster and a cat at the same time.
> 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
> 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
> 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
>
>
>
> GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
>
> 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
> 2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
> 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
> 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its
> ground.
> 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
> 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not
> the toy.
>
>
>
> GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
>
> 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
> 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
> 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while
> you're down there.
> 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a
> rocking chair
> that you once got from a roller coaster.
> 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody
> bothers to ask you the questions.
> 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
> 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
>
>
> THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
>
> 1 -- You believe in Santa Claus. 2 -- You don't believe in Santa
> Claus.
> 3 -- You are Santa Claus. 4 -- You look like Santa Claus.
>
>
> SUCCESS:
>
> At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
> At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
> At age 17 success is . . having a driver's license.
> At age 35 success is . . having money.
> At age 50 success is . . . having money.
> At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers license.
> At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
> At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
>
>
>
>
> Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way;
> BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.
>
>
> Have a wonderful day with many smiles
>
>
> Take the time to live!!!
> Life is short. Dance naked
>
>
> And eat dessert first!
>
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Fwd: Fw: Dangerous rooftop
>>
>>>
>>>
>>> > A rather well built woman spent almost all of her vacation time
>>> > sunbathing on the roof of her hotel.
>>> >
>>> > The first day she sunbathed, she wore a red bikini. However on the
>>> > second day, she felt a little more adventurous. She slipped out of
>>> > it in order to get an overall tan figuring that no one could see her
>>> > way up there.
>>> >
>>> > She'd hardly began when she heard someone running up the stairs. She
>>> > was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.
>>> >
>>> > "Excuse me, miss," said the flustered, little assistant manager of the
>>> > hotel. "The Hilton doesn't mind you sunbathing on the roof, but we
>>> > would very much appreciate you wearing a bathing suit as you did
>>> > yesterday!"
>>> >
>>> > "What difference does it make?" she asked rather calmly. "No one can
>>> > see me up here on the roof and besides, I'm covered with a towel."
>>> >
>>> > "With all due respect, not exactly ma'am," said the embarrassed little
>>> > man. "You are lying on the dining room skylight."
>>>
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
SEXY SANDALS
Subject: Sexy Sandals
So a married couple walked into this shoe shop.
The Jamaican said to them, 'I have some special
sandals I think you would be interested in.Dey make you wild at sex.'
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her
husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was.
The husband asked the man, 'How could sandals make you into a sex freak?'
The Jamaican replied, 'Just try dem on, Mon.'
So, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As
soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes,
something his wife hadn't seen in many years!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his
pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.
The Jamaican then began screaming, 'You got dem on de wrong feet!'
Monday, July 23, 2007
HARRY POTTER and THE MAKE-A-READER
He is A very smart person but has always had trouble reading. In school he hated reading. It did not matter what it was, he did not read. And then came Harry.
Mrs. Moose works as a teacher's aide and the year the first Harry Potter came out, my wife read it at school. It was a library book and so, she signed it out and brought it home. She suggested to my son, who was now out of school that he should read it. With some difficulty he did. And it opened up a whole new world for him. Since then he has read every Harry Potter book that has been written. Not only that but he has learned to enjoy reading. He has read all the James Patterson books and anything else he can get his hands on. In the last year , he has read over 160 books. Not only does he read them but he remembers them. He has discussions with his oldest sister and brother about each book.
When it was announced that this last book of Harry Potter was coming out, he immediately ordered one. When it came out he was in line to get his along with his brother and sister who had also ordered it. For the next day , we did not see or hear from any of them. They were reading. And when we got together for a family supper the three of them sat for hours discussing the new book. That is something I would never have imagined "Before Harry".
My son is quite proud of himself and his ability to read now and so am I. He has even talked me into reading the books. So if you know a non-reader young person or anybody out there , give them a Harry Potter book. Maybe it will
work for them too.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
BACKYARD POND
To the left, in the water, is the rock we call Monument Rock. It is an old broken granite tombstone about 18 inches high. It provides great shade for the fish and is a terrific conversation piece. You can still read the first name and date on it still.
The waterfall comes in just out of the picture to the left. It is powered by a 1200 gallon/hour submersible pump. The white rock in the middle took two of us to put it in the pond. I have it sitting on two flat rocks so it does not rest directly on the bottom liner. It also allows the fish to swim and hide underneath it.
The rocks surrounding the pond for the most part were just picked up in the fields around our town. Most, I have had for over twenty years. When we moved to this house, we moved the rocks with us. I collected them in a little Honda Civic and worked too hard to leave them behind. We also have friends bring rocks back from trips for us. We have rocks from Australia, Mauritius, twelve European countries, the Caribbean, all across Canada, Mexico and the U.S.
The owl is there to protect the fish. Even though we live in an urban area, I went out one morning and a Great Blue Heron was having breakfast on my fish. He must have been there awhile because he got all but three of them. We heard that if you put a predatory bird replica out, it would keep them away. So far, so good.
We know the pond is healthy because the fish actually breed in it. We have different oxygenating plants and lily pads in the water. It is an attractant for birds of all different species. In the winter, I empty the pond and the fish go into the basement in a rubber-maid container with a bubbler. In the spring, back into the pond. And what do we feed them you ask? Nothing. They fend for themselves and help keep the mosquito population down
The flowers around the pond? That is my Mrs. Moose's department.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
POPSICLE
This is my very first popsicle. It sure was good and I really enjoyed it. I sure love my Grandma and Grandpa too for giving me such a good tasting treat. I loved it as you can tell
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Fwd: An article from ctv.ca
-
http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20070718/borderguards_search_070718/20070718?hub=TopStories
Please feel free to leave comments
Monday, July 16, 2007
GRANDSON MOOSE
When The Edmonton Oilers won four Stanley Cups in a five year span one of their star players was a guy named Mark Messier. He was big, strong , fast and had a shot that was a rocket at times. He was also mean. Not just to be mean but mean as in intense and wanting to win the game. Wayne Gretzky was on the same team and was the big star, but for my money, Messier was the heart and soul of that team. Players that played with him said you could just look at him and see the fire in his eyes. Opponents said you could see and feel the intensity, but that he was not a dirty player as so many others were.
He would hit you and hit you hard when he checked you but legally and not with a high elbow or stick. Not that he never did these things. Intimidation and payback are part of the game and Messier took his share of penalties.
He played the game for 22years and when he retired he was #2 on the all-time scoring list. He could be skating at top speed and suddenly let a shot go from the circle that just blew past the goaltender. He often shot off his wrong foot or simply skated around opposing players. He gave 100% every game an often played hurt. He was the consummate pro.
Since I was a Montreal Canadiens fan, there were many times that I disliked Messier intensely. But I respected the man they nicknamed Moose
When they retired his jersey this year in Edmonton , it was a week long event. Tickets were sold out months in advance. Scalpers were getting $5000.00 for a ticket to the game. My youngest son was given 2 tickets so he took his oldest sister. The antlers in the picture are a souvenir they brought home.
Actually, maybe I should say they were my welcome home. Anybody believe me?
HOME AWAY FROM HOME
This is the way we camp. It is a little Trillium trailer about 12-13 feet long. Inside , there is a double bed that converts to a table with a bench seat on either side. We have a furnace, for those cold nights in the mountains, that runs on the 20lb. bottle of propane. There is also a small propane stove and a cooler. Not a fridge but a cooler, in which we put a frozen block of ice.As opposed to a thawed bag of ice.DUH! There is also a sink above the cooler, Cupboard space above the furnace and sink is adequate to keep tools , flashlight, dishtowels, etc.
Across the front is a bench seat with a back that can be raised. The seat and back then become bunk beds. Not extremely wide but enough so that you can sleep. Not necessarily turn over but sleep. If you are on the top bunk, you definitely do not want to roll over.
Under the bench at the front is more storage. Great place for sleeping bags, fishing box, sport bags for clothes. Whatever will fit.
On the door side there is a full length pantry type cabinet with shelves for cutlery, dishes, pots etc. Inside, there is enough room for two quite comfortably. It is not a huge camper by any means but for the two of us, it is sufficient. We don't need a lot of room since we are really only in it to sleep. We cook outside, either over a fire or on a camp-stove. Our lawn chairs are always outside and our oldest daughter bought us a screen tent in which we can eat or cook or get out of a light rain. For heavy downpours, we go inside the trailer.
The red cartons by the wheel hold our axes and small firewood and paper. Also extra camp-stove oil. The yellow plastic bag holds dry firewood which we carry with us, in case the wood in the campground is wet.
The blue tarp sticks out about 6 feet and if it rains we can sit there or if we want some shade on a hot day, we can have it without going inside.
The trailer only weighs about 1000lbs loaded so it can be pulled with ease by a car. I would like to put brakes on it so we have more braking power in the mountains. That is about the only thing I would change except maybe put in a fridge.
The best thing about this camper is that it gets us off the ground. These old bodies are not meant to be sleeping on rocks and twigs anymore. Tenting is for younger people than us. Camping in the mountains can be for everyone. Once my back is healed, I can hardly wait to get to get back to hiking and fishing. And our little trailer is perfect for this.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
20 YEARS AGO-WEATHER
July 31, 1987 was a Friday and the beginning of a holiday weekend. I was working for a moving company at the time and was debating whether I should go and see some clients in the south-east or just head home to the west. I decided to head home because of the long weekend and the traffic I knew would be starting to build. It was extremely humid and the sky was very black with huge cumulonimbus clouds . As I left the west end of the city, I heard it on the radio. A tornado had touched down on the south side. I couldn't believe it. I could have been there. When I got home , it was all over the T.V.
Go to http://www.ee.ualberta.ca/~rob/tornado87.htm. The pictures are unbelievable. I'd make this a clickable link but I have no idea how to do it.
Sections of the city were just demolished. In the east side industrial section a train was taken right off the tracks. Concrete culverts at one company were picked up a deposited over half a mile away. Buildings, of course, were destroyed. Two by fours were punched right through concrete walls like spears.
To the north, one residential neighbourhood was hit and many new house destroyed. The worst devastation was at a trailer park just northeast of this neighbourhood. It was basically flattened.
In all 27 people were killed. Most were in the trailer park.
This was an F4 tornado.
People were kept away from these areas for days. An emergency relief group was set up immediately and is still around today. People would load vans , trailers, trucks , or cars with blankets and food and relief supplies and take it to a central location for the victims. Edmontonians showed they really cared.
When I went back to work, I got to go inside many of the destroyed buildings as companies tried to salvage what they could.Thy needed movers and places to store things. Talk about an eerie feeling.Ceilings were broken down and dripping water, windows blown out. Wall leaning to one side. To get into the area , you had to go through a police roadblock, both in and out.
Right now, we are under another weather warning. This means we could have tornado type weather. We have
learned to watch the sky and keep an eye on the weather. Stay safe everybody
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Fwd: FW: All Women. . . . .
This is for all you ladies out there. Enjoy
One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river,
Her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared
And asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?"
The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and
That she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their
Family.
The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble
Set with pearls.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble
Ringed with sapphires.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
Again, the seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble. "Is this
Your thimble?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three
Thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.
Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the
Riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the
Water.
When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you
Crying?"
"Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney.
"Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.
"Yes," cried the seamstress.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a
Misunderstanding.
You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up
With Brad Pitt. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with
My husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.
Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care
Of all
Three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.
And so the Lord let her keep him.
The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and
Honourable reason, and in the best interest of others.
That's our story, and we're sticking to it.
Signed,
All Women
Friday, July 13, 2007
HOT, HOT, HOT
Because of my operation , I still have to wear my corset with an undershirt beneath it. This , of course, makes it even hotter. Mrs. Moose said I just need to get a wet handkerchief on my head and I would look like an old Greek from Montreal.
If it gets any hotter, we may have to put some ice in a bowl and blow the air from the fan over that.It actually works very well. I guess this is what we get for complaining about our cold winters. This year was not bad as it only went to -30, but some years we can get to -50 . That's cold.
In the winter we plug our cars in so that they start in the morning. The block heater was a great invention. In some places, like the oil sands, the companies just let their vehicles run all the time or they may not get them restarted. I think that will have to change because of the climate issue.
Even the plants are starting to wilt. And those are the ones in my pond! I really feel sorry for my dogs, especially Kaito, as he is an all black German Shepherd. He really feels the heat. We try to keep them inside as much as possible.And it is supposed to go to 35 later today.
I am going to lie down under my fan and take off my corset so I can get cool. Take care all.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
IMMIGRATION IN CANADA
I believe countries such as Canada need to have immigration to survive both politically and economically. In Canada, immigrants are screened for their ability to be able to pay their own way. This is as it should be. Better to bring in somebody with skills who can contribute rather than a person who is going to be a drain on society. So where is the problem?
In the U.S. immigrants are encouraged to become part of the society and adopt the ways, life-style and laws of the States. In Canada, to a certain extent the same is true. However, here we encourage people to retain their own culture and display that culture. We are not the "great melting pot". And there-in lies the problem. When immigrants come to Canada, many want to bring their laws with them. This becomes a problem when their laws are closely tied to their religion. Canada was founded as a Judeo-Christian country. In the last few years the aboriginal groups want to bring back their societal ways. This has proven to be both good and bad. The Muslims, in Ontario, want to bring in Sharia law. They also want as many signs of Christianity removed as possible. In different cities in Canada, a coffin with a cross was going to be the symbol of death related car accidents. Now it is just a black coffin as some people found the cross offensive. Gang related violence is on the increase and usually breaks down along ethnic lines. People from countries have come in where death is an everyday occurrence and this mind-set seems to have come with them. Community leaders from these populations must speak out forcefully against this behaviour. Saying," oh that is not representative of us" is not enough anymore. These leaders need to take action to have their people respect Canadian law.
The second problem with immigration in Canada, are the people who come here , stay long enough to get their citizenship and then return to their own countries. Granted, they work hard while they are here but in some cases , it is so they can live high or buy businesses when they return home. By having Canadian citizenship, they expect the Government to take care of them even when they don't live here. A good example of this was during the war in Lebanon when Canada had to repatriate and extract 40,000 Lebanese from the war zone, even though some had not lived in Canada for 20 years or more. Some even had the gall to complain that this was not done fast enough and they had to find their own way through Syria. When they arrived back in Canada, they were given free medical, housing and welfare care even though they had not paid into it through taxes for years and years.
I am not against immigrants or immigration. What I do want to see is these immigrants become true Canadians with their loyalties to Canada, not their home countries or laws. By keeping their own traditions so prominent, they are often dismissing the way of life they chose to come to. We have great festivals here that all people can take part in and different cultures and food are shown off. This is terrific. Love you homeland, respect your culture, but let me do the same with mine. Don't bring your problems with you.
Over the years, immigrants into Canada have made great contributions. People from China, Japan, the Ukraine, Poland, Germany, Scotland, England, Holland, the Caribbean,India, Pakistan, Lebanon---- countries from around the world have all made POSITIVE contributions. Lets keep it that way.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Fwd: Fw: go git cho mama
The boy asked, "Paw, what's at?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular number above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year-old blonde woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy...go git cho Momma... "
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Joke of the Day
Saturday, July 7, 2007
BUSH CARS
The whole idea of a bush car was to go as fast as you could on a old sand road that ran through the bush. Sometimes the road was just wide enough for the car to get through. You might have 6 inches on either side and you would be traveling sometimes 40 miles /hour. If you hit the tree, you stopped. IMMEDIATELY! If the car wouldn't run anymore, you would push it off to the side into the bush and go to the scrap yard to buy a new one.
This was the place all the cars came from. You could buy a scrap car that would run for $5-$10 . Maybe not well , but it would run and more than likely not for very long. When you got your car the first thing to do was to strip it down. All seats except for the drivers came out. Any glass-gone. Tires- hopefully held some air. If you needed to make your car lighter to go faster- simple. An old axe to the body and off it would come. For safety reasons, all gas tanks were removed and a 1 gallon plastic can was tied in to take it's place And then you were off through the bush.
If you met somebody coming the other way, one of you would have to yield the right of way. There were no hard and fast rules about who, so occasionally there were meetings at the junction. Sometimes there was room to pass if you both went right and no big trees were growing at that spot.
Because there were no seat belts, you could , if you wanted to, tie yourself in with a rope. Helmets were optional. As long as the car ran you could use the road. If a rad went but the car still ran, you were still good to go. In the years we did this, as far as I know only one person ever got seriously hurt. He got thrown from his car and landed on a tree stump. Actually speared would be a better word. He had to have his spleen removed. Other than that, I don't recall any other injuries. Would I let my kids do it. HELL NO!! when I think about, it's a miracle some of us are still alive.
World's Easiest Qiuz
>>
>>This is for all my "bright" friends.
>>
>>Good luck and be honest.
>>
>>WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ
>>
>>(Passing requires 4 correct answers)
>>
>>Please answer all questions before scrolling down for the answers.
>>
>>1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
>>
>>2) Which country makes Panama hats?
>>
>>3) From which animal do we get catgut?
>>
>>4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
>>
>>5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
>>
>>6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
>>
>>7) What was King George VI's first name?
>>
>>8) What color is a purple finch?
>>
>>9) Where are Chinese Gooseberries from?
>>
>>10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
>>
>>All done?
>>
>>Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass. Check your answers below.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ
>>
>>(Passing requires 4 correct answers)
>>
>>
>>1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
>>
>>2) Which country makes Panama hats? Equador
>>
>>3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses
>>
>>4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
>>
>>5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
>>
>>6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs
>>
>>7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
>>
>>8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson
>>
>>9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
>>
>>10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange,
>>of course.
>>
>>What do you mean, you failed?
>>
>>Me, too. (And if you try to tell me you passed, you lie!)
>>
>>
>
Friday, July 6, 2007
SKIJORING
I look at the pictures and think how much it has changed. We had old wood skis that you just strapped to your boots. No metal edges on them. Helmets? I don't think so. We weren't too smart about things like that. And open area? No way!. We would be going through a trail in the woods racing somebody else.
How does it work? You need someone with a strong horse, who can really ride. A water ski rope and somebody foolish enough to hang on.Then it is simple.
You start the race with two people, much like a drag race. The two horses take off with the rider and the third party hanging onto the ski rope for dear life. The race winds through a trail in the woods and the first one across the star/ finish line wins. The main rules were: don't get kicked by the horse and don't run into any trees. Both can hurt. But it is great fun.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Men's Winter Class Schedules -
WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT
THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Saturday, January 28, 2008
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoid ing The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and
Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
LEARNING TO RIDE A BIKE
I was about 4 year old when I got my first two wheel bike. It wasn't a hand-me -down, but brand spanking new. Red, so it could go fast! My brother was 4 years older and had a bike for a couple of years. He offered to teach me to ride and when I could balance well enough we would go to the paved driveway. I worshipped my brother and thought he could do no wrong. He taught me how to balance and how to pedal. If i wanted to go faster, pedal faster he would tell me. Lean into the corners, don't turn the handle bars. It was great.
I learned everything that first day and we went to THE PAVEMENT. Like I said, this was a long driveway. At least half a mile! My brother said to follow him and we were off. The pavement was as smooth as could be and it was wonderful to listen to the tires humming on the surface. We rode slowly at first just to get used to it. and just did lazy circles to turn around. Soon, we were going as fast as we could. We were zipping along, when my brother veered off on a dirt side road going to the barn. I tried to follow. One minor problem! He had forgotten to teach me how to use the pedal brake and I could not turn fast enough to make the corner.PANIC!
If you have ever lived in the east, you know that the elm and oak trees can be huge. And there in front of me, coming up at the speed of light was a HUGE OAK. I ran right into it. Fortunately I didn't crash. Unfortunately I rode about 6 feet up the trunk of tree. Fortunately I stopped. Unfortunately I fell the 6 feet to the ground with the bike on top of me. Fortunately i was still alive and so was the bike.
So, what do we learn from this little story. Thank your brother for teaching you to ride, but also ask him how to stop.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Fwd: Fw: Ramblings of a Retired mind
A
Although not yet retired, I would love to try some of these Ramblings of a Retired Mind - some thoughts.
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one, so, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I've come to realize that the secret to a happy life is not looking like Barbie or Ken and suffering through tofu and rice cakes to stay that way! It's eating chocolate, staying chunky and explain that you're really a perfect size 6, but you keep it covered with fat so it doesn't get scratched!
"Enjoy Your Days-----Love Your Life" |
Sunday, July 1, 2007
CANADA DAY
For most of these 140 years we have had the longest undefended border in the world with the U.S. Unfortunately this has changed in the last few years. We have far more in common with the Americans than with any other country in the world and we really need to get back to treating each other as friends and neighbours rather than with suspicion and distrust. Just as the Americans supply us with many manufactured gods, we supply the Americans with much raw materials to make those goods.
We have always been able to cross the border with relative ease but now require a passport. Some towns actually have the border running right down the middle of the town. Now people need a passport to cross the street. Much of the animosity we see out there , in both countries, is because of Homeland Security. The Canadians did not let the 9-11 terrorists into the US. When the skies needed to be cleared of air traffic, Canada opened its airspace and airports to American planes. We were true friends.
Most Americans I have met a great people and I really enjoy talking to them . The bloggers I have met are no different. You are all fine people and I enjoy each and every one of your blogs. I think we all agree that we just want to live our lives in peace and friendship.
So, Happy Canada Day and Happy Fourth of July to my American friends!!!