Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Ok – Here is a stress reliever for those who need it. I like the manic mode! (It has sound effects too!)
STRESS RELIEF...click on the word BUBBLEWRAP below - Way too cool !!!
Don't forget to go to Manic Mode....Then click fresh sheet
then run the mouse along the bubble wrap
THIS IS AWESOME! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT YOU COULD DO IT ONLINE !!!
A great stress reliever for this time of year!!! COME ON, you know you
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while
other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since
clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard
my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn
this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must
this again tomorrow**.but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated
so he is safe. For now..........
Sunday, April 20, 2008
TEST FOR OLD KIDS
01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, Who was that masked man? Invariably, someone would answer, I don't know, but he left this behind. What did he leave behind? _______________.
02. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964, we all watched them on The _______________ Show.
03. 'Get your kicks, ___________________.'
04. 'The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed___________________.'
05. 'In the jungle, the mighty jungle, ________________.'
06. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we 'danced' under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the '_____________.'
07. 'N_E_S_T_L_E_S', Nestle's makes the very best....... _______________.'
08. Satchmo was America's 'Ambassador of Goodwill.' Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was _________________.
09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? _______________.
10 Red Skelton's hobo character was named __________________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, 'Good Night, and '________ ________'.
11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their______________.
12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW . What other names did it go by? ____________ & _______________.
13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, 'the day the music died.'This was a tribute to ___________________.
14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called ___________________.
15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the ________________. !
01. The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet.
0 2. The Ed Sullivan Show
03. On Route 66
04. To protect the innocent.
05. The Lion Sleeps Tonight
06. The limbo
08. Louis Armstrong
09. The Timex watch
10. Freddy, The Freeloader,and 'Good Night,and may God Bless.'
11. Draft cards (Bras were also burned.)
12. Beetle or Bug
13. Buddy Holly
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Subject: Heaven and Hell
HR Heaven and Hell
One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Director
was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven
where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though,
it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once
had a Human Resources Director make it this far and we're not really
sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," said the woman. "Well, I'd like to,"
replied St. Peter, "but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is
let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose
whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven,"
said the woman.
"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in
an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. The doors opened and she
found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf
course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her
were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and
they were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up
and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They
played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club
where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the
Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute) and she had a
great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time
that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand
and waved good-bye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went
up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and she found St. Peter
waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next
24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She
had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St.
Peter came and got her. "So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent
a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity," he said. The woman
paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say
this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a
better time in Hell." So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and
again she went down-down-down back to Hell.
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a
desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends
were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in
sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and
there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we
danced and had a great time. Now all there is, is a wasteland of garbage
and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her and smiled. "Yesterday we were recruiting you,
today you're staff..."
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
THIS IS FOR ALL OF US THAT WERE BORN AND RAISED IN SASK! (and those that wish they had been)
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six
days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found Him, resting on the
seventh day. He inquired of God, 'Where have You been?'
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed
downwards through the clouds, 'Look Michael, look what I've made!'
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and asked, 'What is it?'
'It's a planet,' replied God, and I've put life on it.
I'm going to call it Earth, and it's going to be a place of great balance.
'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, 'For example,
Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while
southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a
And over there I've placed a continent of white people, while over
here is a continent of black people,' God continued, pointing to
different countries. 'This one will be extremely hot and arid
while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'
The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large
land mass and said, 'What's that one?'
'Ah,' said God. 'That's Saskatchewan, the most glorious place on
earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, skies, sunsets and rolling hills. The
people from Saskatchewan are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous,
and they are going to be found traveling the world.
They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving,
and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed,
'What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!'
God replied wisely, 'Wait until you see the dingbats I'm putting
around them in Alberta, Manitoba & the U.S.
Only someone who has grown up inSaskatchewan will send this on.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well for example, the other day Betsy and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?"
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So Betsy called him a sh#thead. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.
It's important at our age.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Good reminder of what matters .
I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas.
I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.
Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.
'Hello Barry, how are you today?'
'H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They sure look good.'
'They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?'
'Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time.'
'Good. Anything I can help you with?'
'No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas.'
'Would you like to take some home?' asked Mr. Miller.
'No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with.'
'Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?'
'All I got's my prize marble here.'
'Is that right? Let me see it' said Miller.
'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.'
'I can see that. Hmm mmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked.
'Not zackley but almost.'
'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble'. Mr. Miller told the boy.
'Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller.'
Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.
With a smile she said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store.'
I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado , but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.
Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.
Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts...all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket.
Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.
Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.
'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about.
They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size....they came to pay their debt.'
'We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,' she confided, 'but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho .'
With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.
The Moral : We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.
Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles ~ A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself...An unexpected phone call from an old friend...Green stoplights on your way to work...The fastest line at the grocery store...A good sing-along song on the radio...Your keys found right where you left them.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
We went out to the backyard and he just ran and played with his dog "Andy". He loves to chase him, all the time laughing his head off. He also makes me run with him. When Kristin came to the door to say she was leaving, all he had to say was"Bye, Bye". Didn't bother him a bit. Back to playing he went. I tried to get some pictures when he wasn't dragging me with him.
Most of the snow is gone and he can run around on the grass. The little bit of snow that is
left is crunchy on the top and hard enough still for him to walk on. When he does hit a soft spot, he sinks down to his knees and giggles. He seems to think is is great fun. Of course, his shoes get soaking wet.
After about ten minutes we went for a walk in the neighbourhood. We usually don't end up going far, but it takes us about an hour. He stops and examines every little thing that catches his eye. And of course, he has to be chased in a game of tag. It was so windy that he even let me put up his hood on his hoodie. Usually he hates anything on his head. He also wants to know the name of everything." What's that? What's that" he is certainly curious about this great big wonderful world. And that is a good thing.
When we got back to the house we had lunch and he played with his toys before his nap.
I am trying out my new camera and trying to see ow the pictures look if I add some light. I think in the bottom one, I have too much because his hair is not that red. It does have a red tinge to it but not this much.
All in all, a great time was had by both of us.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?"
The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot."
The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"
"Why thank you very much," he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he says "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?"
The farmer said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"
The old lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens