Fwd: [Fwd: Fw: FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN]

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>>>> Subject: FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN
>>>>
>>>>The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies
>>>>and goes to Heaven.
>>>>He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.
>>>>However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
>>>>
>>>>St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We
>>>>have heard a lot about you. I must tell you,
>>>>though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been
>>>>administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short,
>>>>but you have to
>>>>pass it before you can get into Heaven."
>>>>Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be
>>>>here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam.
>>>>I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as
>>>>it was."
>>>>St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three
>>>>questions.
>>>>First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
>>>>Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
>>>>Third: What is God's first name?"
>>>>
>>>>Forrest leaves to think the questions over.
>>>>He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says,
>>>>"Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me
>>>>your answers."
>>>>Forrest replied, "Well, the first one --which two days in the week
>>>>begins with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one
>>>>is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."
>>>>
>>>>The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not
>>>>what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not
>>>>specify, so I will give you credit for thatanswer. How
>>>>about the next one?" asked St. Peter.
>>>>
>>>>"How many seconds in a year? Now that one is
>>>>harder,"replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about that, and I
>>>>guess the only answer can be twelve."
>>>>
>>>>Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's
>>>>name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
>>>>
>>>>Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's got to be twelve:
>>>>January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd.... "
>>>>
>>>>"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this,
>>>>and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in
>>>>mind.....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go
>>>>on with the third and final question. Can
>>>>you tell me God's first name"?
>>>>"Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy."
>>>>
>>>>"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.
>>>>
>>>>"Ok, I can understand how you came up with
>>>>your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did
>>>>you
>>>>come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"
>>>>"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,"Forrest replied.
>>>>"I learnt it from the song, "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY
>>>>TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . "
>>>>St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: "Run Forrest, run."
>>>>
>>>>Give me a sense of humor, Lord.
>>>>Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,
>>>>To get some humor out of life,
>>>>And to pass it on to other folk.
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