How To Shower Like a Woman:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower and stand on bath mat .
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on he ad.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let t he water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bath mat .
Dry off forearms and butt only.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.
Have a great day! And, ' woo woo'!!!
24 comments:
You forgot the part where the man leaves his clothes in a heap on the floor, all of them wrong side out. He expects someone to come along, turn them right side out, and then put them in the hamper. Not me. I wash them wrong side out, dry them wrong side out, and fold them wrong side out. If he wants them hung up, guess how he'll hang them! Cause otherwise, they sit on top of the dryer, and he picks through them when he needs underware, socks, t-shirts, and pants. He has to be told to put them away, or it doesn't register to do it. And, of course, I won't put away ANYTHING that is wrong side out. Can you believe it? This has gone on for 30 years...it is one of my favorite stories about 'early home training'. If they don't learn it by age 5, they never do.
When are you publishing your account of wife & husband sharing a shower?
:)
Bonita: Men look at it this way. For all these years, we have been trying to train the women to turn clothes right side out and wash , dry, fold and put away thusly. We don't understand why women are such slow learners. Have no fear though, we will NEVER give up trying to train you properly. ROFL
YesBut: We can shower together? Who'd a thunk it?
Yeah, we are an independent bunch, aren't we? And those WOMEN think they started that whole "liberation" thing...!
ohmigod ... someone nailed it down with this one! Hilarious!
Bruno, we certainly march to our own drummer don't we? As long as we get clean and have fun doing it, whats the problem?
Lin: Whoever wrote this certainly did nail it on the head. I think it must have been a woman.
Now, why didn't I think about it that way!
I'm closing my curtains more often. Someone bin lookin' in my howsssse...
>~~~~~~~~hiding~~~~~~~~<
I agree with Yes But. Nothing like a co-ed shower. Makes you forget all about the clothes and such.
Bonita: I don't know,but you should ask George what he thinks. LOL
Tic: which part have they been seeing,....The way YOU shower, the way your husband showers or the together part?
ROFL
Cat: Ah yes, it does make one forget doesn't it? or so I have heard.
Men are so gross.
Not sayin' ~smirk!~
Ticblog: ROFLMAO so there.
Babzy: NO we're not. Besides, look at the comments from some of the women.LOL
That is one of the funniest things ever. Here's to universal truths.
Phlegmfatale: Hello, welcome to the great north woods. I do believe you are right about this being a universal truth, even up here
Indeed, who among us has not heard (or uttered) WOO WOO!
phlegmfatale: Yes, the WOO WOO is great fun
Are you guys still wagging your woo woos? LOL
Babzy: Last time I wagged my woo woo , I was a wearing trenchcoat and almost got arrested. LOL
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