Today is Saturday, June 30,2007.
Over the years Mrs. Moose has put up with me for many things. I have been in the hospital for hernias, my back operation, and a heart attack. I have been unemployed twice during our time together , and finances have not always been the best. I have changed jobs a number of times, always looking for something I really enjoyed and she has put up with it. We moved across the country from family to no jobs and a whole load of household furniture.
She has borne my children and taken great care in raising them with me. She has worked outside the house since our youngest started school. Sometimes 2-3 jobs at a time. She loves our grandson with all her heart.
The most important thin you need to know about Mrs. Moose is that she completes me. She is truly the other half of my soul and I love her dearly. Without her, I would be nothing but a hollow shell.
Why am I writing this today? Because 34 years ago , at 2:00 P.M. Eastern time she became my wife. So my dear, Here's to you. The best thing in my life.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
DEMON IN THE HOUSE
Yesterday and last evening for about 5 1/2 hours, our house was overtaken by a demon. He arrived in his chauffeur driven car and my wife put him on the grass on the front lawn. He just sat there because he does not like the feel of grass on his knees. His uncle Craig finally got him to sort of crawl around on the grass but it was more of a monkey walk than a crawl. Knees never touched the grass once.
Because we have had so much rain this year, the mosquitoes are terrible so we brought him inside. Now he has not been in our house for almost 2 weeks but the first thing he did was head to the dog's dishes, to play in the water bowl. After removing him from the area 5-6 times we finally got smart and moved the dishes outside and the dogs along with them. We closed the patio door and he immediately used it to stand up and look out at the dogs. He also used his tongue to make designs on the glass. To the side of the door is a long window where Mrs. Moose keeps plants behind a curtain.He pulled the curtain aside and started to reach for the plants. "NO!No!" he was told. "YES!YES!", said his mind. After taking him away a number of times we moved him to our computer room/den , which has a door so we could close him in. We set up the toy his mother had brought with her, a music player with different buttons, slides, etc, that play different tunes when moved. This kept his attention for a while.
He then moved on to a dump truck with balls in the back. These, of course, got scattered around the room quickly and just as quickly he was after them. Of course , every time his eye noticed something new, he went after that. Poor Mrs. Moose, she was so busy taking him down from stuff or moving stuff so he couldn't reach it. He has gotten to the stage where he knows he can climb and reach things. You could watch him trying to lift his leg high enough to get up on the coffee table and get the things my wife had moved.
It was like having a never stopping machine in the house. He would move somewhere, we would move stuff so he couldn't get it. He would get something, we would take it away.You can tell by the way he stands himself up that it won't be long before he is walking.
When he got hungry , my son held him and Mrs.Moose fed him. When he has had enough, he takes it in his mouth, chews a bit and then spits it out for the dogs. He also likes to use his "sippy cup" to sprinkle water all over the place. He thinks this is great fun and laugh and laughs.
Back on the floor, he started chasing the dogs. Now neither one of these dogs has ever seen a baby before, except him. And when he was last here he didn't crawl that fast. Now they run from him and are not quite sure what to make of this little person. His dogs at home are the same way. He just loves them.
We decided to put him in his stroller and take him for a walk. On the new strollers, you can strap kids in tightly. He loves to go for walks . If he notices an object on the ground, he practically turns himself into a pretzel to look at it. He notices everything that is going on around him.
Back home, he was getting tired so we(Mrs. Moose) put him down for a nap upstairs. He fell asleep for about half an hour. The problem with this, was Mrs. Moose would have to run upstairs to check on him every five minutes. He has never been upstairs in our house before and we didn't want him scared waking up in a strange place
Just as he awoke, his dad phoned and said he would be picking him up in 20 minutes. The rest re-invigorated him. Into the room with the door and 20 more minutes of play time and his dad arrived and took him home.
He is such a smart little guy. Mimics very well and thinks it is great if he can get you to do a certain task. When you do it, he claps for you.
Owen, our dear little demon was here for 5 1/2 hours. Can hardly wait until he is back. Mrs Moose is exhausted!
Because we have had so much rain this year, the mosquitoes are terrible so we brought him inside. Now he has not been in our house for almost 2 weeks but the first thing he did was head to the dog's dishes, to play in the water bowl. After removing him from the area 5-6 times we finally got smart and moved the dishes outside and the dogs along with them. We closed the patio door and he immediately used it to stand up and look out at the dogs. He also used his tongue to make designs on the glass. To the side of the door is a long window where Mrs. Moose keeps plants behind a curtain.He pulled the curtain aside and started to reach for the plants. "NO!No!" he was told. "YES!YES!", said his mind. After taking him away a number of times we moved him to our computer room/den , which has a door so we could close him in. We set up the toy his mother had brought with her, a music player with different buttons, slides, etc, that play different tunes when moved. This kept his attention for a while.
He then moved on to a dump truck with balls in the back. These, of course, got scattered around the room quickly and just as quickly he was after them. Of course , every time his eye noticed something new, he went after that. Poor Mrs. Moose, she was so busy taking him down from stuff or moving stuff so he couldn't reach it. He has gotten to the stage where he knows he can climb and reach things. You could watch him trying to lift his leg high enough to get up on the coffee table and get the things my wife had moved.
It was like having a never stopping machine in the house. He would move somewhere, we would move stuff so he couldn't get it. He would get something, we would take it away.You can tell by the way he stands himself up that it won't be long before he is walking.
When he got hungry , my son held him and Mrs.Moose fed him. When he has had enough, he takes it in his mouth, chews a bit and then spits it out for the dogs. He also likes to use his "sippy cup" to sprinkle water all over the place. He thinks this is great fun and laugh and laughs.
Back on the floor, he started chasing the dogs. Now neither one of these dogs has ever seen a baby before, except him. And when he was last here he didn't crawl that fast. Now they run from him and are not quite sure what to make of this little person. His dogs at home are the same way. He just loves them.
We decided to put him in his stroller and take him for a walk. On the new strollers, you can strap kids in tightly. He loves to go for walks . If he notices an object on the ground, he practically turns himself into a pretzel to look at it. He notices everything that is going on around him.
Back home, he was getting tired so we(Mrs. Moose) put him down for a nap upstairs. He fell asleep for about half an hour. The problem with this, was Mrs. Moose would have to run upstairs to check on him every five minutes. He has never been upstairs in our house before and we didn't want him scared waking up in a strange place
Just as he awoke, his dad phoned and said he would be picking him up in 20 minutes. The rest re-invigorated him. Into the room with the door and 20 more minutes of play time and his dad arrived and took him home.
He is such a smart little guy. Mimics very well and thinks it is great if he can get you to do a certain task. When you do it, he claps for you.
Owen, our dear little demon was here for 5 1/2 hours. Can hardly wait until he is back. Mrs Moose is exhausted!
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Fwd: How to Conceive a Child!!
JUST HAD TO SHARE THIS WITH EVERYONE. I THINK IT IS HILARIOUS SO PLEASE ENJOY IN THE SPIRIT IT IS OFFERED ---ALPHONSEDAMOOSE
* PROMISE..... .There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny. The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive,** **Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..." "Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you." "Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?" "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat". After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there." "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!" "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith. "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that." "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said. "Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look" "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment? " "It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away." "Tripod?" "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long." Mrs. Smith fainted!!!!* | |||
| |
Monday, June 25, 2007
HEROES
Do you remember when you were young and growing up. For a lot of us we all had our heroes, whether they were cowboys on television,sports figures or just really great people that we knew. As we got older our heroes changed whether it was because we got older or somebody new came along to take their place.
My greatest hero was my father. He was a physical education teacher and everybody at the school loved him. I think this was because he was a very fair man. If you deserved to get into trouble, he would punish you but not so severely that you didn't like him.When he punished you , you knew it was for a good reason and that you deserved it.
He was also very understanding. I remember when he had this one kid who would always skip school in the spring to go fishing down at the river. My dad would always find him at his favorite fishing hole and bring him back to school. He would talk to him about the importance of an education and they would come to a compromise solution. The kid would come to school Monday to Friday morning and if he did, he would be allowed to go fishing Friday afternoon. This solution worked terrifically for the both of them. That kid was the only one my father did this for and he told him he wished he could go too.
During the summers, we would leave Montreal and head to our cottage up in Thunder Bay. At our place there, we had no plumbing as such. We had an outdoor "biffy" and gravity fed water. We would pump water from Lake Superior to the cliff behind our house by gas pump. Up there, we had a huge cattle trough which we would fill with water.A hose would lead out and down to the house and we would have "running" water. Hot water was by boiling a kettle. We also no no electricity. Just the old coal oil lanterns and finally propane.
It was here that my dad and I were always close. He used to go up and down road in front of the cottages everyday and ask older people if they would like a fish that day. When he had enough orders for his limit(5) we would head out onto the lake in a 16 foot runabout with a five horsepower motor. My dad knew all the best fishing spots.Usually we would have our limit within 2 -3 hours. when we came to shore the first thing we would do was deliver the fish. He would do this everyday for the 6-8 weeks he had off. Then came the lamprey and the fishing died off.
Sometimes we would get caught in a storm. Not fun! We could be 6 or 7 miles from home and a sudden storm would come up. On lake Superior, they are ferocious. They have massive waves and the water is ice cold. My dad would make my brother and I get under the bow, put on our life jackets and stay put out of the rain. I was never really worried at times like this because he always got us home safely. It was a terrific time.
My dad also had a great sense of humour. He could tell funny stories like nobody else and he always could make people laugh. He told me that if you can bring a smile to somebodies face you have really done something. I know my mom always smiled at thing he did. Of course, some were inadvertent
One time he fixed an old wooden door,put on new hinges and a new handle and got it hung perfectly. He did such a good job that he called my mom to see it. When she came in, she burst out laughing. He was a little hurt by this reaction and asked her what was so funny. When she could finally speak, she told him that it was the first time she had seen a door with the knob and the hinges on the same side. Yup, he was a clown even when not trying.
Do you have a hero? Please let me know!
My greatest hero was my father. He was a physical education teacher and everybody at the school loved him. I think this was because he was a very fair man. If you deserved to get into trouble, he would punish you but not so severely that you didn't like him.When he punished you , you knew it was for a good reason and that you deserved it.
He was also very understanding. I remember when he had this one kid who would always skip school in the spring to go fishing down at the river. My dad would always find him at his favorite fishing hole and bring him back to school. He would talk to him about the importance of an education and they would come to a compromise solution. The kid would come to school Monday to Friday morning and if he did, he would be allowed to go fishing Friday afternoon. This solution worked terrifically for the both of them. That kid was the only one my father did this for and he told him he wished he could go too.
During the summers, we would leave Montreal and head to our cottage up in Thunder Bay. At our place there, we had no plumbing as such. We had an outdoor "biffy" and gravity fed water. We would pump water from Lake Superior to the cliff behind our house by gas pump. Up there, we had a huge cattle trough which we would fill with water.A hose would lead out and down to the house and we would have "running" water. Hot water was by boiling a kettle. We also no no electricity. Just the old coal oil lanterns and finally propane.
It was here that my dad and I were always close. He used to go up and down road in front of the cottages everyday and ask older people if they would like a fish that day. When he had enough orders for his limit(5) we would head out onto the lake in a 16 foot runabout with a five horsepower motor. My dad knew all the best fishing spots.Usually we would have our limit within 2 -3 hours. when we came to shore the first thing we would do was deliver the fish. He would do this everyday for the 6-8 weeks he had off. Then came the lamprey and the fishing died off.
Sometimes we would get caught in a storm. Not fun! We could be 6 or 7 miles from home and a sudden storm would come up. On lake Superior, they are ferocious. They have massive waves and the water is ice cold. My dad would make my brother and I get under the bow, put on our life jackets and stay put out of the rain. I was never really worried at times like this because he always got us home safely. It was a terrific time.
My dad also had a great sense of humour. He could tell funny stories like nobody else and he always could make people laugh. He told me that if you can bring a smile to somebodies face you have really done something. I know my mom always smiled at thing he did. Of course, some were inadvertent
One time he fixed an old wooden door,put on new hinges and a new handle and got it hung perfectly. He did such a good job that he called my mom to see it. When she came in, she burst out laughing. He was a little hurt by this reaction and asked her what was so funny. When she could finally speak, she told him that it was the first time she had seen a door with the knob and the hinges on the same side. Yup, he was a clown even when not trying.
Do you have a hero? Please let me know!
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Fwd: Fw: No Fun Getting Old?
Thought I would just pass this on for the more mature people.
JOKES FOR THE OLDER CROWD
JOKES FOR THE OLDER CROWD
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
-----------------------------------------
An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."
-----------------------------------------
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
------------------------------------------
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
------------------------------------------
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
--------------------------------------------
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
---------------------------------------------
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
----------------------------------------------
I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
----------------------------------------------
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
----------------------------------------------
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
-----------------------------------------------
Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.
---------------------------------------- ------
If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
--------------------------------------
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
-------------------------------------------
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that I'm looking for my
wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The second old guy says, "That's OK, It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"
The second old guy says: "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big bust, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"
To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours."
THE STAPLES ARE OUT
Yesterday, I went to my family GP. Two weeks after my operation , it was time to get the staples removed. Some people ha told me this could be a painful procedure as the skin would be healing over he staples themselves. I was told that when the staples came out, it wold tear he new skin open. OH JOY!
My son drove me over the doctor's office and when I asked him if he would like to watch, his response was immediate. "Oh , yes". How many times does a son get to see his old man cry in pain. To be able to watch him squirm in pain, the ultimate dream of every son, especially if his dad has told him" this won't hurt" when he took him to a doctor. Revenge for the kids.
We were out in a room that had the special instruments needed to extract the staples, The main tool looks like a a small pair of wire snippers. Since I couldn't see anything Craig told me how they worked. The doctor would hook the staple in he middle and crimp it. This would force the hooked under parts straight up and down, so the staple would look like a W. He would then just pull it out. Little tug and done. No pain, no blood! Simple. He did this 27 times and we were done.
Thank goodness they are out. I can now move without the prickly feeling of the staples in my back ad sleeping at night is much easier. I don't feel like I am going to snag myself on the sheets. I also don't have that feeling of nettles running up and down my spine when I sit.
So now it is just a matter of time to let the fusion take hold and I can get rid of this damn corset. Can't be soon enough!
My son drove me over the doctor's office and when I asked him if he would like to watch, his response was immediate. "Oh , yes". How many times does a son get to see his old man cry in pain. To be able to watch him squirm in pain, the ultimate dream of every son, especially if his dad has told him" this won't hurt" when he took him to a doctor. Revenge for the kids.
We were out in a room that had the special instruments needed to extract the staples, The main tool looks like a a small pair of wire snippers. Since I couldn't see anything Craig told me how they worked. The doctor would hook the staple in he middle and crimp it. This would force the hooked under parts straight up and down, so the staple would look like a W. He would then just pull it out. Little tug and done. No pain, no blood! Simple. He did this 27 times and we were done.
Thank goodness they are out. I can now move without the prickly feeling of the staples in my back ad sleeping at night is much easier. I don't feel like I am going to snag myself on the sheets. I also don't have that feeling of nettles running up and down my spine when I sit.
So now it is just a matter of time to let the fusion take hold and I can get rid of this damn corset. Can't be soon enough!
Friday, June 22, 2007
Fwd: Fw: Fw: SENIORS UNDER ATTACK]
| BEWARE: THE YOUNG ARE OUT TO GET US
| |||||
| |
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Fwd: Fw: Ponderisms
The following were sent to me s am e-mail. You may have seen some or all of them before but today is a slow day so I thought I would pass them along
A couple dozen (some new) Ponderisms
A couple dozen (some new) Ponderisms
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water?
Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known
as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
5. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*
8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
*! ~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
9 Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
*~*~*~*~*~*! ~*~*~*~*
12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do, write to them?
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
22. If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
24. At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells...
THEIRS
ATHEIRS
Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known
as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
5. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*
8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
*! ~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
9 Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
*~*~*~*~*~*! ~*~*~*~*
12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do, write to them?
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
22. If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
24. At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells...
THEIRS
ATHEIRS
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
REVENGE OF THE PARENTS
The little guy in this picture is my Grandson. He will soon be 10 months old. In that time he has learned so much. How to recognize people, how to make different sounds, how to chew and the best of all....... how to be his grandparents instrument of revenge.Since he starting crawling he , naturally, has been curious about everything he can possibly get to.This , as far as we are concerned is a good thing. As for his parents, BABY PROOF!
My daughter was over the other day and was telling us that earlier she had to change a wash in her house. She left Owen in the basement while she ran upstairs to do this one minute job. As she came back down into the basement, there he was on the first landing , 6 steps up, sitting quite proud of himself. When he saw her , he just smiled and clapped with the " look what I can do" enthusiasm of a little devil.
While he was here, he was sitting and crawling around on the floor. When something caught his eye, he immediately went after it. Natural curiosity. However, when he was told no, what did he do? Exactly the same thing his mother used to do. He looked my wife straight in the eye, all innocent, and the whole time, his little hand was reaching for the one thing he had been told no for. When we laughed and said he was just like his mom, she said,"no I was a good kid". And she was, for the most part. But she would look you straight in the eye and her little hand would be reaching out to touch what she had just been told no for.
He has also learned to pull himself up to a standing position using furniture and tables. He can then reach what he wants. We have a little stool in the room and he knows he can move it to where he wants to go and then get up.
We are going to have to baby proof our house also.I don't mind that. Better safe than sorry. What I really am looking forward to is the little munchkin giving his mother as good as she gave us. (PUT IN EVIL LAUGH SOUND HERE)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)