Sunday, August 31, 2008

IT'S BEEN A BUSY SUMMER

It has been a extremely busy summer for us since my Mother's funeral in early July. Both my brother, who lives in Toronto and myself ( in Edmonton )were executors of her will. Being over 2000 miles apart and trying to deal with funeral homes, banks, and relatives is not easy. At the same time , being back at work during the busiest time of the year for building supply stores. I just felt like I was on a treadmill and running and running and getting nowhere. Thank God for my family. They were the ones who helped me get through all the stressful times and I thank them and love them very much.

I did get two weeks vacation from the middle of July to the end of July. The first week we had Owen everyday for a few hours. He is getting so big and smarter all the time He loves to be chased and has found a hiding place under the fir tree in the front yard. He not only hides but pretends to be a big monster and when you get too close, he chases after you roaring. If you turn back toward him , the brakes come on and he takes off laughing to beat the band. When you get too close he "falls " down, hoping you will fall for his little con job.

His language skills have developed tremendously. He talks in complete sentences that you can understand. He uses the proper tense for the most part and when he hears a new word, he absorbs it like a sponge and uses correctly within the next two days. I am truly amazed at how much learning children do in their first two or three years of life.

I built him a small sandbox in the back and he plays for hours with his trucks and cars and "diggers". He loves to feel the sand dribble through his fingers and watch what happens if he puts it through a strainer. He will dig holes and then immediately cover them up ,only to re-dig them. The sandbox seems to be his favorite place in the yard.

He is also extremely helpful. We bought him a plastic garden shovel and he uses it to dig in his sandbox. He has also offered to help me "pooper-scoop". Of course we say no. But helpful as he is,he is there to point it out to us. Poop is YUCKY.

He helps his Grandma pick peas in the row we planted beside the garage. He is learning to not pick the whole plant. He also is learning how to shell peas . As fast as you can get the pea out, he eats it. Corn on the cob is the same. I have never seen a kid devour corn like he does.

In early August, Kristin , Mark and Owen were away for about two weeks. Such along time to not see him or them. When he arrived at our house the first time back, he ran up the walk and threw himself into my arms. He is usually not a cuddler, but that day, he just laid his head on my shoulder for about five minutes.

He is developing a very devilish sense of humour. When he was helping me water the garden, he decided he should also water Grandpa. He had me trapped behind the house. Each time I would start to go turn off the water he would give a little squirt as a warning. If I moved too much, he would let fly with a full blast. I ended up soaked to the skin with water in both ears. And he laughed and laughed.

His Uncle Jim and Uncle Craig and myself took him to the zoo two weeks ago. Just the guys and he had a great time. Never fussed or whined once. We were there for about five hours and he thoroughly enjoyed it.
He has learned to wear his hat on hot sunny days and loves to wear his sunglasses. He used to take them off all the time, but now he lives in them.

Last weekend he phoned me. Mrs. Moose had talked to Kristin around five o'clock. At about ten to six , our phone rang and it was Kristin. Owen had picked up the phone and when she asked who he was calling, his reply was - Grandpa!
Not even two yet and already calling me. We talked about his birthday party which was yesterday and how his Mom would make cake and he would get presents. I did most of the talking while he answered-yes.

He will be two on September 2ND and it has been the most amazing two years of my life.
\
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Thursday, July 17, 2008

Canadians eh !!!






 

A Little Canadian Humor...
 
 

Forget Rednecks,

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canucks.
 

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from

September through May,

You may live in Canada .


 

If someone in a Home Depot store

Offers you assistance and they don't work there,

You may live in Canada .


 

 

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,

You may live in Canada .



 

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation

With someone who dialed a wrong number,

You may live in Canada .


 


If 'Vacation' means going anywhere

South of Detroit for the weekend,

You may live in Canada .


 


If you measure distance in hours,

You may live in Canada .


 

 

If you know several people

Who have hit a deer more than once,

You may live in Canada .


 

 

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'

In the same day and back again,

 You may live in Canada .


 


If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow

During a raging blizzard without flinching,

You may live in Canada .


 

 

If you install security lights on your house and garage,

 But leave both unlocked,

You may live in Canada .


 

If you carry jumpers in your car

And your wife knows how to use them,

You may live in Canada .


 

                   If you design your kid's Halloween costume

To fit over a snowsuit,

You may live in Canada .


 

                        If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --

You're going 90 and everybody is passing you,

You may live in Canada .


 

                                If driving is better in the winter

Because the potholes are filled with snow,

You may live in Canada .


 

If you know all 4 seasons:

Almost winter, winter, still winter,

And road construction,

You may live in Canada .


 

If you have more miles

On your snow blower than your car,

You may live in Canada .


 

If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly',

You may live in Canada .


 


 

If you actually understand these jokes,

And forward them to all

Your Canadian friends & others,

You definitely live in Canada .

 

 






Sunday, July 13, 2008

Why Parents Drink- PRICELESS
















 Why Parents Drink

 The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.
" Hello ? "

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

" Yes ,"
whispered the small voice. May I talk with him?"

The child whispered,
" No ."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
" Yes ."

"May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered,
" No ."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

" Yes ,"
whispered the child, " a policeman ".

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

" No, he's busy ",
whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

" Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman ,"
came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

" A helicopter "
answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive Again, whispering, the child answered,
" The search team just landed a helicopter ."

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...
"me ."

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Sunday, July 6, 2008

Only an 8th grade education



I RECEIVED THIS FROM AN OLD SCHOOLFRIEND IN MY HOMETOWN

 

Remember when grandparents and great-grandparents stated that they only had an 8th grade education? Well, check this out. Could any of us have passed the 8th grade in 1895? 

This is the eighth grade final exam from 1895 in 
Salina ,  Kansas ,  USA . It was taken from the original document on file at the  Smokey  Valley  Genealogical Society and Library in  Salina ,  KS , and reprinted by the  Salina  Journal. 

8th Grade Final Exam: 
Salina,  KS, 1895 

Grammar (Time, one hour) 

1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters. 
2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications. 
3. Define verse, stanza and paragraph 
4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of 'lie', 'play', and 'run.' 
5. Define case; illustrate each case. 
6. What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation. 
7 - 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar. 

Arithmetic (Time, 65 minutes) 

1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic. 
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold? 
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3942 lbs., what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1050 lbs. for tare? 
4.  Di strict No 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals? 
5. Find the cost of 6720 lbs. coal at $6.00 per ton. 
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent. 
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft. long at $20 per meter? 
8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent. 
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods? 
10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt 

U.S.  History (Time, 45 minutes) 

1. Give the epochs into which 
U.S.  History is divided 
2. Give an account of the discovery of 
America  by  Columbus  . 
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the 
United States  . 
5. Tell what you can of the history of 
Kansas  . 
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion. 
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton, Bell, Lincoln, Penn, and Howe? 
8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, and 1865. 

Orthography (Time, one hour) (Do we even know what this is???) 

1. What is meant by the following: alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, and syllabication. 
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified? 
3. What are the following, and give examples of each: trigraph, sub vocal, diphthong, cognate letters, and lingual.
4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u.' (HUH?) 
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e.' Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each. 
7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi-, dis-, mis-, pre-, semi-, post-, non-, inter-, mono-, and sup-. 
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, r ise, blood, fare, last. 
9. Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane, vain, vein, raze, raise, rays. 
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication. 

Geography (Time, one hour) 

1 What is climate? Upon what does climate depend? 
2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in 
Kansas  ? 
3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean? 
4. Describe the mountains of 
North America 
5. Name and describe the following:  Monrovia ,  Odessa ,  Denver ,  Manitoba ,  Hecla ,  Yukon , St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and  Orinoco . 
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the 
U.S. 
7. Name all the republics of: 
Europe  and give the capital of each. 8. Why is the  Atlantic  Coast  colder than the Pacific in the same latitude? 
9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers. 
10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth. 

Notice that the exam took FIVE HOURS to complete. Gives the saying 'he only had an 8th grade education' a whole new meaning, doesn't it? This also shows you how poor our education system has become... and, 

 

NO! I don't have all the answers. 


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Saturday, June 28, 2008

I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER


This will be my last post for awhile. My mom passed away this morning in Thunder Bay, Ont. She was born on April 1, 1921. her husband , Hugh passed away on December 10 of 2000. She was healthy right to the end and died peacefully. I will miss hr terribly as will our whole family. God speed mom.
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Monday, June 23, 2008

Fwd: Fw: Home Depot Scam


Home Depot scam... be careful . A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers.

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite
traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start
wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.
When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot.
You agreeand they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen on March 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, & 24th 29th. Also April 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th, 30th, and three times last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.


So........... tell your friends to be careful!

P.S.: Walmart has wallets on sale 2.99 each.

Friday, June 13, 2008

ways to maintain healty insanity




Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity. 

1.
 At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 

2. 
Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.


3. 
Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 

4. 
Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 

5.
 Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,Switch to E spresso. 

6.
 In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds" 

7.
 Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."


8.
 Dont use any punctuation 

9.
 As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 

10.
 
Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 

11.
 Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 

12. 
Sing Along At The Opera. 

13.
 Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 

14.
 Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day. 

15.
 Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood. 

16.
 Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 

17.
 When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!" 

18.
 
When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling 
"Run For Your Lives,
 They're Loose!!" 

19. 
Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 

20. 
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......


Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile. 
Its Called .......
 therapy

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Fwd: Fw: The Sneeze



 

 

 

                     Subject: The Sneeze

They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-two students filing into the 
already crowded auditorium. 
With their rich maroon gowns flowing and the traditional caps, they looked 
almost ... as grown up as they felt. 
Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and Moms freely brushed away tears. 
This class would NOT PRAY during the commencements----not by choice, 
but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it. 
The principal and several students were careful to stay within the 
guidelines allowed by the ruling. 
They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned 
divine guidance and 
no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families. 
The speeches were nice, but they were routine......until the final speech 
received a standing ovation. 
 
A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still and 
silent for just a moment,  and then, it happened. 

All 92 students, every single one of them, suddenly SNEEZED!!!  


The student on stage...simply looked at the audience and said, 'GOD BLESS YOU,
each and every one of you!' And he walked off stage... 


The audience exploded into applause. This graduating class had found a 
unique way to invoke God's blessing on their future with or without the court's 
approval.


Isn't this a wonderful story? Pass it on to all your friends.........and GOD 
BLESS YOU!!! 
This is a true story; it happened at the University of Maryland.

 

 

 

 

 



__________

 

 

 




Sunday, June 1, 2008

Sheriff Joe is at it again





Subject: Sheriff Joe is at it again


You all remember Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Arizona , who painted the jail cells pink and made the inmates wear pink prison garb. Well.........

SHERIFF JOE IS AT IT AGAIN!


Oh, there's MUCH more to know about Sheriff Joe!

Maricopa County was spending approx. $18 million dollars a year on stray animals, like cats and dogs. Sheriff Joe offered to take the department over, and the County Supervisors said okay.


The animal shelters are now all staffed and operated by prisoners. They feed and care for the strays. Every animal in his care is taken out and walked twice daily. He now has prisoners who are experts in animal nutrition and behavior. They give great classes for anyone who'd like to adopt an animal. He has literally taken stray dogs off the street, given them to the care of prisoners, and had them place in dog shows.


The best part? His budget for the entire department is now under $3 million. Teresa and I adopted a Weimaraner from a Maricopa County shelter two years ago. He was neutered, and current on all shots, in great health, and even had a microchip inserted the day we got him. Cost us $78.
The prisoners get the benefit of about $0.28 an hour for working, but most would work for free, just to be out of their cells for the day. Most of his budget is for utilities, building maintenance, etc. He pays the prisoners out of the fees collected for adopted animals.


I have long wondered when the rest of the country would take a look at the way he runs the jail system, and copy some of his ideas. He has a huge farm, donated to the county years ago, where inmates can work, and they grow most of their own fresh vegetables and food, doing all the work and harvesting by hand. He has a pretty good sized hog farm, which provides meat, and fertilizer. It fertilizes the Christmas tree nursery, where prisoners work, and you can buy a living Christmas tree for $6 - $8 for the Holidays, and plant it later. We have six trees in our yard from the Prison.

Yup, he was reelected last year with 83% of the vote.
Now he's in trouble with the ACLU again. He painted all his buses and vehicles with a mural, that has a special hotline phone number painted on it, where you can call and report suspected illegal aliens. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement wasn't doing enough in his eyes, so he had 40 deputies trained specifically for enforcing immigration laws, started up his hotline, and bought 4 new buses just for hauling folks back to the border. He's kind of a 'Git-R Dun' kind of Sheriff.


TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO


HE IS THE MARICOPA ARIZONA COUNTY SHERIFF

AND HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER
THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY:


Sheriff Joe Arpaio (In Arizona ) who created the ' Tent City Jail':
He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.


He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails. Took away their weights Cut off all but 'G' movies.

He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects.

Then He Started Chain Gangs For Women So He Wouldn't Get
Sued For Discrimination.


He took away cable TV Until he found out there was A Federal Court Order that Required Cable TV For Jails So He Hooked Up The Cable TV Again Only Let In The Disney Channel And The Weather Channel.

When asked why the weather channel He Replied, So They Will Know How Hot It's Gonna Be While They Are Working
ON My Chain Gangs.


He Cut Off Coffee Since It Has Zero Nutritional Value.

When the inmates complained, he told them, 'This Isn't The Ritz/Carlton.....If You Don't Like It, Don't Come Back.'

He bought Newt Gingrich's lecture series on videotape that he pipes into the jails.

When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series might explain why a lot of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.

More On The Arizona Sheriff:

With Temperatures Being Even Hotter Than Usual In Phoenix (116 Degrees Just Set A New Record), the Associated Press Reports:
About 2,000 Inmates Living In A Barbed-Wire-Surrounded Tent Encampment At The Maricopa County Jail Have Been Given Permission To Strip Down To Their Government-Issued
Pink Boxer Shorts.


On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached
138 Degrees Inside The Week Before.


Many Were Also Swathed In Wet, Pink Towels As Sweat Collected On Their Chests And Dripped Down To Their PINK SOCKS.

'It Feels Like We Are In A Furnace,' Said James Zanzot, An Inmate Who Has Lived In The TENTS for 1 year. 'It's Inhumane.'

Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. He said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates: 'It's 120 Degrees In Iraq And Our Soldiers Are Living In Tents Too, And They Have To Wear Full Battle Gear,
But They Didn't Commit Any Crimes,So Shut Your Mouths!'


Way To Go, Sheriff!

Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be a lot less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for their parole, only to go out and commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves.



Sheriff Joe was just reelected Sheriff in Maricopa County, Arizona



Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Why did the chicken cross the road?






>
>
> GRANDPA:
> In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
>
> BARACK OBAMA:
> The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
>
> JOHN McCAIN:
> My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
>
> HILLARY CLINTON:
> When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
>
> DR. PHIL:
> The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
>
> OPRAH:
> Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
>
> GEORGE W. BUSH:
> We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.
>
> COLIN POWELL:
> Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
>
> ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
> We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
>
> JOHN KERRY:
> Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.
>
> PAT BUCHANAN:
> To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
>
> MARTHA STEWART:
> No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
>
> DR SEUSS:
> Did the chicken cross the road?
> Did he cross it with a load?
> Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
> but why it crossed I've not been told.
>
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
> To die. In the rain. Alone.
>
> JERRY FALWELL:
> Because the chicken was GAY! Can't you people see the plain truth?! That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
>
> BARBARA WALTERS:
> In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
>
> ARISTOTLE:
> It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>
> JOHN LENNON:
> Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
>
> BILL GATES:
> I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cr a...#@&&^(C% .........reboot.
>
> ALBERT EINSTEIN:
> Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
>
> BILL CLINTON:
> I did NOT cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
>
> AL GORE:
> I invented the chicken!
>
> COLONEL SANDERS:
> Did I miss one?
>
> AL SHARPTON:
> Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens .



------- End of Forwarded Message -------


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